the birth of olive joy
The most appropriate way to start this off is by sharing that my birth plan was focused heavily on an unmedicated physiological labor. After months of research into evidence-based resources on the various things that I wanted for my birth, my plan was for a low intervention and mostly unmedicated labor. My reasons for this included wanting to be able to move freely and allow myself to progress in labor on my own, avoiding possible negative outcomes from interventions, and trusting my body and my baby to do what they were designed to do on their own time. Going through a traditional obstetric care model and choosing to deliver in the hospital setting presented obstacles in honoring this birth plan in its entirety. Having our doula Grayce on my team was the key to this birth being empowering and a positive experience.
I started my day on January 16th at home because it was a remote work day for me. I rolled out of bed around 7:40 because every second of sleep counts in those late pregnancy days! My morning was normal - let my dogs out and fed them breakfast, ate a quick breakfast myself, and got myself signed into work. My co-workers all knew I was close and Friday was going to be my last day either way, but when I sent out an email that morning I had one person reply and ask me what I was still doing here. My reply was that unless the baby had other plans I would be sticking around until the next day. The baby had other plans after all!
Around 9am I left home and went to my 39 week appointment where my husband, Alex met me and got hooked up to the monitors for our now weekly NST (because of gestational diabetes). After about 20 minutes my OB looked at the graph and said the baby was having late decels and she wanted to send us immediately for an induction. We stayed on the monitor a bit longer and called Grayce. After discussing and praying we decided to go ahead and head over to the hospital to at least be monitored for a few more hours to see if this activity continued. After several hours we had no more late decels and I discussed with the OB at the hospital the possibility of me going home because I didn’t feel like there was enough concern to stay. She insisted that just because they hadn’t seen anything, my doctor had and that could happen again. As a first time mom I was questioning myself. I was stuck between doing what felt right for me and what felt right for my baby. I had been fighting my OB for weeks on not inducing until after my due date, so now that this had come up the exact day she originally wanted me to be induced on I was having a hard time with trusting that the medical professionals speaking to me truly had my best interest at heart.
So, I discussed my concerns with the induction process and asked about what the specifics of the process would be. The biggest thing I knew I wanted to avoid was Pitocin because the research I had done told me that this synthetic version of oxytocin causes stronger and closer together contractions which often wear women’s bodies out quickly and lead to more C-sections, and it can block your brain from creating its own oxytocin. I was questioned by the doctor where I was doing my research, so I told her information sent to me by my doula from Evidence Based Birth. They did say that everything was my choice, but they were recommending staying and starting the induction. My husband and I discussed more and I prayed more and something in my gut said to just stay and get it started. Spoiler alert, my body progressed and contractions happened so I never did get pitocin!
Funny enough, my sister had asked me a few days prior when I thought the baby would come and I kept saying Friday, the 17th because based on my last period this was my original due date but my initial dating scan set our due date to the 22nd. Starting the induction process on the 16th made it seem like that was probably going to be the case.
At 4:30pm a resident doctor came to place cervidil because my cervix was completely closed. Unfortunately, this was probably the worst part of my entire experience because this doctor was rough and aggressive in ways that none of the other doctors had been during any cervical checks. They let me know that the medication may cause some minor cramping and it would need to stay in for 12 hours, so I could expect to be checked on a few times throughout the night and likely have the foley balloon placed around 4:30am if the cervidil dilated me enough. I was also attached to the monitors for my entire induction because of the late decels that got us there, which was less than ideal. Anytime I tried to change positions it caused them to go off. After the medication was placed Alex had to leave because we had a dog that had just had emergency abdominal surgery and was being released from the vet. The timing of all of this seemed almost comical. I was fine to let him go handle that though because I knew it would be a long time before labor really started.
Surprisingly, by 5:10pm I started to feel a good amount of pain in my hips that seemed to come and go in waves. Over the next few hours the pain grew and was radiating down my thighs when it came. I practiced my breathing exercises and naturally my body was rocking side to side trying to ease through the discomfort. I also kept repeating some affirmations to myself that I had been saying for the last couple months of my pregnancy. I trust my body and I trust my baby. My body was designed by God to do this. Every contraction is one contraction closer to meeting my baby.
“I trust my body and I trust my baby”
My husband got back to the hospital sometime after 7pm and asked how I was doing and I started crying. I think part of it was from pain I had been dealing with, but more so from feeling scared about what was to come if this was just the beginning. He held me for a little while and went to find someone to ask for a heating pad to try to help ease some of my discomfort.
I had previously discussed having IV pain meds if needed, and around 9pm I decided that I needed something so I could at least get some sleep. Just before 10pm I asked for a cervical check just to see if we had progressed and I asked about my contractions because I had been feeling so much in my hips but nothing in my abdomen or my back. At this point I was between 1 and 2 cm dilated, -2 station, and my contractions had been coming between 1 and 4 minutes apart for several hours. I realized that I was going to have a long night and morning ahead of me because there was not much progress but a good amount of pain and discomfort already, so I opted for the IV pain meds and was administered Nubain which also was given through an injection in my bottom. This worked quick and knocked me out for a couple hours. That little bit of rest was so good and definitely needed!
I woke up around 11:45pm to what felt like a really strong kick in my belly from the baby and I realized the bed was filling up with liquid. In a groggy half awake state, I hit the call button and had the nurses come check and my water had in fact broken. At this point I was around 3cm dilated and they decided to remove the cervidil and allow my body to continue to progress on its own without further intervention since my water had broken. This did however cause the pain I was feeling to amp up some more, so I opted to have an epidural placed. I was adamant my entire pregnancy that I wouldn’t do that, but knowing how much longer I had to go and the limits of my own body I decided it would be the best bet for me. I had what I think some people would call the perfect epidural. The placement itself was painless for me and I was able to hold still through it, even after they had to remove and try a second placement because the first one wasn’t great. I think it helped that I was so tired I was almost nodding off as my very sweet nurse Hailey held me while it was placed. Within about 5 minutes I felt myself getting numb. I was numb from my belly button to around my knees, so I could still feel my feet and move my legs entirely on my own - I was also able to support myself on all fours when I was ready to try that position. I consider myself very lucky and blessed that it worked out for me that way and I was able to move more than I had expected with an epidural and the pain was taken away. Giving myself the grace to make this decision without feeling bad about it when the time came was so important.
“Giving myself the grace to make this decision without feeling bad about it when the time came was so important. ”
For the next few hours I was left mostly alone and just rested as best as I could. The nurses suggested I keep myself in a sitting position to encourage the baby to move down further, so I stayed like that, in and out of sleep. Around 3:45am I requested to be checked and I had dilated to 5cm and the baby was at -1 station. This was progress, but I was hoping for more. I texted my doula Grayce just to give her this update so she could see it when she woke up, I didn’t expect that we would need her for several more hours so no sense in calling and waking her up that early. At 5am I was checked on again and they let me know that my contractions were getting much stronger and following more of a pattern so we did another cervical check and I was now 8-9cm dilated. That progress happened super quick! They had also been asking me all through the night when my doula was coming and I said I was waiting until I knew we were close, so after this check they said “you should probably call your doula!” Alex called Grayce and she was there before 6am. I got her caught up on everything that had happened through the night and how I was feeling. Grayce also braided my hair for me because I had an IV lock in my hand and couldn’t do it myself and desperately needed my hair pulled back.
At this point I recognized that there were things that happened differently than I planned and had thought they would go, but I was feeling positive about how everything was going.
Grayce suggested we get the peanut ball and try a few different positions to help with the last bit of dilation. So, for the next hour or so we did that. I think the position I spent the most time in was called flying cowgirl. Around 7am I started to feel a lot more pressure and most of the feeling was in my butt. The feeling is nothing like I’ve ever felt before, but because I had the epidural it wasn’t exactly painful, although it did become more and more uncomfortable. One final cervical check and I was fully dilated and the baby was in the lowest station, so we were close. Grayce and my nurse helped me get up onto all fours where I labored for a while breathing through the contractions. With each contraction the pressure would increase. My body naturally rocked back and forth with the contractions. I had practiced for weeks a breathing pattern that I had become very comfortable with - 4 seconds in through the nose followed by 8 seconds out through the mouth. As everything got stronger I was also vocalizing with my breaths out. Grayce helped coach me to keep my tone really low to keep my jaw relaxed because this helps keep your pelvic floor relaxed. I think that was a really great part of my labor and I am glad I had practiced for that. I told my husband and Grayce that I wanted to make sure I was mooing like a cow, which I think I was successful on! Both Alex and Grayce also continued to offer me water and comforting touch and words as I kept laboring. It's so helpful to have people you trust by your side reminding you that even though it's only you giving birth, you aren’t alone.
My doctor showed up around 9am and said I could start pushing if I was ready. I was still on all fours at this point and I was ready to start pushing. I truly believe our bodies know just what to do because the pushing feeling was very natural. I moved with the pressure I was feeling, but they were also helping me to know when I was having a contraction on the monitor to push at the best time. After a few rounds of pushing in the all fours position we decided to have me lay down and try side lying. I did one round of pushing like this and knew it wasn’t going to work. I rolled over to my back (which was the last way I thought I would be comfortable) and started pushing from there. This position was actually very comfortable for me and helped me feel like I was making progress. Everyone in the room was also telling me that I was doing really well and pushing like a pro and I believe fully that helped me so much to feel encouraged to keep my head in it and keep going. Fear tried to creep up on me a couple of times but I remembered the fear - tension - pain cycle and did not want to get myself stuck in that. I learned very quickly how much of this process is about headspace and emotions over the physical aspects for me.
“I learned very quickly how much of this process is about headspace and emotions over the physical aspects...”
Coached pushing is certainly not for everyone, but it was helpful for me, especially since I couldn’t feel the full on contractions. I would hold my legs back by grabbing under my thighs while my nurse and doctor pushed back on them as well and counted me through the pushes. With each contraction we did 3 sets of 10 second pushes. As my baby’s head started to crown they pulled down the mirror so I could watch. Seeing her head gave me such a boost of confidence, I knew I could make it to the end. I don’t know how many rounds of pushing we did, but after I could see most of the top of the baby’s head I did ask how much longer they thought it would be and my doctor very nonchalantly said about 15 minutes. I laughed a little and said I can do anything for 15 minutes. 10 minutes later they called a bunch of other people in the room and it was go time. Several people also grabbed their party hats that I had brought because this was a birthday after all (my husband knew better than to touch me at this point so he set mine on the pillow above my head, haha!) With a few more rounds of pushing my baby was out! The immediate relief was amazing. Olive Joy was born on January 17th, 2025 at 10:04am!
She got brought to my chest after they helped me get the top of my gown down because I wanted to allow her to find my breast when she was ready and I wanted to be fully skin to skin. After my cord had stopped pulsating, and Grayce had me feel it to make sure, they clamped it and let my husband cut it. During this time I was just so overwhelmed with amazement at what I had just accomplished and soaking in my new baby. Meanwhile, my OB and the rest of the hospital staff were very busy. Within a few minutes they had me do a small push and I birthed the placenta. They started new IV medications and gave me cytotec and were removing clots from me. Grayce stepped in and asked them to explain what they were doing because at this point informed consent was apparently not a concern for them. My bleeding was slightly above average, but it was not an emergent situation. I am so glad I had a doula to step in and ensure I was informed of what was happening with my healthcare, because otherwise I probably would never have known what they were even doing. I think it can often be that way in a hospital setting because it's their day to day, they like to get things done quickly and efficiently, so communication can fall to the side in the moment. I don’t feel negative about this experience though because at the end of it my baby was healthy and I was healthy. Riding that high of emotions and joy was enough for me to not worry as much about some of the other things.
After the room cleared I was left alone with my baby on my chest for nearly 2 hours. It was so beautiful. Just getting to take her in and feel all of those initial feelings of amazement and so much love. When I reflect on this birth, now three weeks ago from when I am writing this, I am so happy with how it all turned out. Things certainly veered from my initial plans and what I thought I would want. The truth is that things can change so much when you are actively in it. I am so grateful I had a doula and we had discussed all of the things that went into making my birth plan. The months of research I did before giving birth gave me the knowledge to have conversations with my doctors and nurses about what they were doing. So, even though I didn’t have the birth experience I thought I would, it was so empowering to still get to make my own decisions and feel good about those decisions. Giving birth is difficult for sure but it's also so incredibly beautiful and rewarding. I would not change anything about how this birth happened, and I might even be willing to do it again, as much I told my husband the whole time that I wouldn’t, haha! If you’re looking for advice - hire a doula and do your research so you can have control of as much of your birth as possible, regardless of what setting it happens in!
“Even though I didn’t have the birth experience I thought I would, it was so empowering to still get to make my own decisions...”
