THE BIRTH OF ISAIAH BEAU

May 5th 2024

Every Sunday morning we have a routine of going to our Kingdom Hall to praise and learn about our God, Jehovah. Despite having slept terribly due to several polyps in my left nostril, I got up to get ready for our meeting. I felt worse and worse as the morning went on as my sinuses were very irritated but I pushed through, even going the extra mile to do my hair and makeup. This was something I hadn’t been prioritizing as I had been very tired lately but for some reason I had it in my mind to get a family picture that day. Something in me just wanted a picture of the 3 of us before the new baby make their arrival- whenever that may be. I was 38 weeks and 5 days but was in no rush to go into labor. Especially when I was so tired and struggling to breathe through my nose.

Hoping to be able to participate in the singing at our Kingdom Hall, I also did a sinus rinse before we left the house. This turned out to be a HUGE mistake as it greatly increased the pressure I had in my head. It now felt like my head was going to explode! Still, I was determined to continue on, so I got our 23 month old ready, packed our bag, and out the door we went!

As we arrived at the Kingdom Hall the music had already began so we quickly found seats next to my mother in law. I lasted about 5 minutes at the seat before I headed to the bathroom to attempt to clear my nose- in desperate hopes it would relieve some pressure. It actually only made my eyes water more so I just went back to the seat with some tissues. I sat there, trying to listen, occasionally wiping my dripping eyes and nose. Eventually I typed out a message on my phone and showed my husband. I told him that I could not breathe well and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to make it through this meeting. He asked me if I wanted him to take me home. I suggested that he drop me off so that he could come back to enjoy the meeting. The last thing I wanted was to drag the whole family home. It is very important to us as parents that we instill a love of God in our son and him being a part of our meetings is huge for us. Plus, he was doing so well, sitting in his seat with his books and I didn’t want to disrupt that. We asked my mother in law to take care of Ezra (our toddler) while Harrison ran me home.

So we left the meeting, leaving everyone to wonder if I was in labor when really I was just needing a nap and some sinus relief. Looking back I do think think that my body was telling me to rest. Little did I know, my little baby was going to make their appearance soon!

Harrison dropped me off at home and I immediately went to heat up some water. I put a drop of peppermint essential oil into the warm water and draped a towel over my head as I attempted to clear my sinuses by breathing in the steam. It didn’t work.

As I was raking my brain on who or what could help me on a Sunday I thought of a family friend who does Cranial Sacral therapy. I shot her a text thinking maybe she could help me to get some relief. While I waited for her reply, I went to lay down and quickly fell asleep.

I woke up to Harrison coming into our room to tell me that he was heading to basketball and that Ezra was asleep in his room. Grateful that he took such good care of Ezra, I quickly fell back asleep after he kissed me goodbye. This was probably around 12:15 in the afternoon.

Around 1:40pm I woke up and while I was laying there I heard Ezra rustling around in his room. I closed my eyes and waited to see if he’d go back to sleep but then noticed a contraction. I hadn’t drank very much water since I was been napping for most of the day and I hadn’t been to the bathroom in several hours either so I didn’t think anything of it. I changed my position to open knee chest to see if I’d have another one. I felt it build and starting thinking of a game plan so I could rule out labor. I figured I’d use the bathroom, drink some water, and then reassess.

While I was in the bathroom I had an intense contraction. It totally caught me off guard as the other two had been so dainty. But I was at the dilation station, my pelvic floor was relaxed, and my bladder was empty so my body took advantage of that! After the contraction I had a very interesting sensation to which I am sure was my cervix moving forward. I had felt this with my first birth at the beginning of labor and immediately recognized it.

My head was still so full of pressure and my mind quickly went to a negative place. I didn’t think anything of the contractions, they were sure to fade once I had some more water but I was irritated that I was still having this headache. I was concerned about how I’d be able to care for my sweet energizer bunny toddler while I felt so miserable. Harrison had several hours of basketball left and I wasn’t ready to take on solo parenting that afternoon. Not in the condition I was in.

Then I started crying! This isn’t how I usually cope with stress, especially when I have a headache so it 100% caught me off guard and I remember shaking my head thinking, “What is going on with me?”. Something was off so I texted Harrison and asked him to come home. He must’ve had someone watching his phone for him because he responded immediately saying that he was on his way home.

I let my mind drift for a moment while I took some deep cleansing breaths and I thought of all the mothers I’ve had the privilege of assisting during labor. I thought of one of my mama’s in particular who was desperately in need of a good emotional release. Often times the only thing standing between a mama and progressive labor is a good emotional release.

Well, I checked that box.

I splashed some cold water on my face to ease the redness and swelling in my face before I went to get Ezra. Before we knew it, daddy was home.

My sweet mother in law (Becky) had been checking in on me after I left the meeting and she offered to bring some decongestant. I was hesitant as I try to stay away from all medicines if at all possible but after speaking with my midwife about considering how awful I was feeling I sent Becky a list of a few different decongestants that I would be willing to take.

So we went about life as we waited for Becky to swing by. As an hour or so went by I started to think that maybe I was in labor. I was coping just fine but each contraction persuaded me to get on hands and knees. Once I knew a wave was coming I would get on the floor and breathe deeply as it came to a peak and fell over me. Then I’d hop back up and continue on whatever I was doing. Ezra would try to climb on my back or he would come close to watch as each one rose and fell. I loved that, I wanted him close and his sweet little hands and playfulness brought so much joy. As he watched me labor I felt grateful that he was going to grow up knowing that labor and birth was safe and beautiful. He saw how calm his daddy was as I welcomed each wave. Labor is a part of life and he would feel comfortable and know how to support his wife one day if he decided to have a family of his own.

“As he watched me labor I felt grateful that he was going to grow up knowing that labor and birth was safe and beautiful.”

— Grayce

We figured we may have company that night so I wrote down a list of things that I wanted to accomplish before active labor came along and Harrison and I worked together to get mark things off. Ezra of course assisted as we washed dishes, put laundry away, and made coconut water strawberry lemonade.

Becky showed up with decongestant in hand and I quickly took a dose in hopes that it would clear up my sinuses and make it easier to breathe. She had no idea that I had been having contractions but when she noticed she didn’t react in any dramatic fashion. Instead she just played with Ezra and then was about to leave when I asked her to braid my hair. She had braided my hair around 5am the day Ezra was born. I said a silent prayer, thanking Jehovah for my supportive and loving family.

It was a gorgeous day and a walk as a family was on my list. With my hair braided I grabbed our dogs leash and we started to head outside. I asked if Becky would go with us and just for kicks, help to time the contractions. That way Harrison could push the stroller and I could have my hands free to walk the dog. I was also interested in testing this labor out. I wanted to see if I was able to walk through the contractions. They seemed intense at home and were requiring my attention but when you’re just sitting at home waiting for the next one- they can seem more intense than they actually are. Right before we left the house my Cranial Sacral friend called offering to attempt to relieve my sinuses. I told her that I appreciated the call but seeing how I was in labor, I probably wouldn’t be heading to Taylorville, Il anytime soon. We shared a laugh and she offered sweet words of encouragement before we hung up.

So off we went, our last walk as a family of 3. One contraction came and I was able to keep walking… then another one came and I had to stop with my hands on my knees for support. Then more came forcing me to give the leash to Harrison while I leaned on him for support. They were about 5 minutes apart during our 1 mile walk but I still felt like I had a ways to go. Harrison mentioned that we’d have a baby that evening. I told him I was betting on midnight.

Once we got home from our walk Becky asked what our plans were for dinner. I hadn’t even thought about eating until I realized it was almost 7pm! I couldn’t even wrap my head around cooking so we thought about trying to find something healthy on Door Dash. About that time my father in law showed up, probably to see why Becky had been missing all afternoon. Everyone went outside to talk with him while I stayed inside. I sat on the floor with my contractions coming and going. I swaying to the rhythm when I thought, “I could be laboring all night. I don’t want to just sit here and wait.” Harrison came inside to check on me and I told him that I wanted to go out somewhere for dinner. He gave me a funny look but I explained how I thought distractions would be helpful so we loaded Ezra up in the car and headed to town. I love that he supported me with this, he demonstrated his trust in me which added more normalcy and calmness to our day.

We headed to Springfield, IL. We had about a 20 minute drive to Core Life. I turned on my seat warmer as soon as I got into the car preparing for some uncomfortable contractions as I was strapped in the front seat. Car labor is usually pretty difficult as your movements are greatly restricted.

About half way there Harrison mentioned that I hadn’t had any contractions since we’d been in the car. I told him that I’d had one but it wasn’t anything to exciting. I mentioned that I really hoped things weren’t fading away.

I had 2 more before we walked into the restaurant. We ordered our food, the worker mentioned that Harrison looked like Lebron James (his favorite part of the day) and we sat down to eat. Harrison had Ezra try one of their drinks that tasted like straight apple cider vinegar. Ezra gladly took the cup thinking that it was juice I’m sure and he made the most hilarious face! We couldn’t help but laugh which I’m sure is why he went back for seconds. This made me think of all of the times he laughed at me when I had tried apple cider vinegar shots for heartburn earlier in my pregnancy. I made the most outrageous faces as I tried to shoot that stuff back!

As I sat in the booth I had a couple more intense waves. Chalking it up to being stuck in a booth I didn’t think to much of it. Soon we cleaned up our area and headed home. On the car ride home the contractions returned to a nice pattern with some extra OOMPH. I had about 4 in the 20 minute drive home which fits the timing that I normally suggest clients to call their birth team. I was hesitant about alerting my team though - I wanted this birth to be quick and easy for them. So I thought I would wait a bit longer before texting everyone.

It was a difficult car ride but so much fun at the same time. I played music, including a song about chickens that always gets a giggle out of Ezra but at one point I had told Harrison to stop talking while he was mid sentence so that I could concentrate on my contraction. That’s when I knew I was in active labor. My waves were demanding full attention now. Overall the outing was a great time, I appreciated so much that I was hanging out with my family as our newest member steadily made his way to us. Every laugh and every good feeling was encouraging more and more oxytocin production. I loved every minute. As we got closer to home I had a contraction that made me think that I needed to have my team come on over, most of them had an hour drive. I sent out a text to my midwife, doula, and photographer.

“Might be good to see your faces soon!”

— Grayce to her birth team at 8:17pm

While we waited for our team to arrive I put our first baby to bed. Usually this is a team effort but Harrison knew he needed to work on getting the tub set up as well as a few other last minute things. Ezra’s bedtime routine went beautifully, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get through it without crying or having some intense contractions but we read a book, said a prayer, and after I sang him our song I quietly left his room and he drifted off to sleep. All of this without any contractions.

As soon as I shut his door I was hit with a contraction that dropped me to the floor. Grateful that my body waited for Ezra to fall asleep I wondered how quickly things would move now.

Soon our photographer arrived. It was so great to see her as she is one of my closest and dearest friends. She had agreed to be part of our birth early on and I was so excited to have her there. We just chatted and laughed as we usually do while I continued laboring. At this point I was on my exercise mat rocking over my birth ball during contractions. I was starting to become a bit vocal as I found this made the contractions much easier. We weren’t timing anything as we just let labor unfold and I was gauging my own progress based on the intensity of the contractions. By 9:30pm, everyone had arrived and I was so excited to have all of these wonderful women in my home! As much as I was sure that the contractions were getting stronger, I still worried that I had called the team too early. This is surely because I was just having a good time with everyone! My friends were over, we had food, drinks, music, cool lighting… What else could you ask for?

Harrison and Kenzie (our doula and friend) lovingly stuck to my side as I moved throughout our home. I spent some time in the bathroom, the kitchen, the laundry room. They fed me and kept me hydrated with my favorite snacks and drinks. As my labor grew stronger I recognized an ole friend- back labor. It took alot mentally to remain grounded and calm as I felt my stomach gradually tighten and then my lower back follow suit. I thought that it was absolutely unfair that I was having back labor a second time, especially since I was so aware of appropriate positioning during both of pregnancies! My midwife (Amie) offered a tens unit to help combat the discomfort but it didn’t seem desirable to me. Kenzie did apply counter pressure during each contraction and I gladly welcomed her strong and warm hands as she eased some of the pressure off of my back.

It was getting late and I was tired. I thought that it would be a good idea to try to get some rest between waves so I headed to my bed. I laid in open knee chest position thinking it would get the baby off of the nerves in my back but once I had a contraction I was back to all fours. I told Kenzie that I really wanted to get into the tub but I was worried it was too soon. I didn’t want to slow anything down. She encouraged me and mentioned that it could actually speed things up. That was the only thing I needed to hear and I headed to the living room where the tub had been filling.

Once I got to the tub I realized that it wasn’t quite full. No worries, I can wait a few minutes I thought to myself. But then I heard someone say that we had run out of hot water. This was literally the only stressor I had about our home birth. We had actually just replaced our water heater so this wouldn’t happen! Hanna (our photographer) was on it though, she immediately started filling pots with water and heating them up on the stove. She even called Becky since she lives right around the corner, to see if she could bring some pots by. Before I knew it, the water was deep enough and I sank into natures best pain reliever.

I was pleasantly surprised by how comfortable the tub was. It was even better than I had imagined. There was plenty of space and the bottom was inflated which created a very soft surface for my knees. I did feel a bit alone with so much space between me and everyone else. I asked Harrison if he would get in with me to which he softly said, “I don’t have my trunks with me.” In reply I said, “Well its a good thing we’re home so you can just walk to our room and get some.” This got a GOOD laugh and I’m sure he was just so in the moment he had forgotten where we were.

He went to change and soon climbed in with me. I rested in his strong loving arms in between waves and eventually dozed off to sleep during my welcomed breaks. I was 100% safe and comfortable with everyone there. I felt loved and calm. Exactly how every mother should feel in labor.

At one point I was sure that I needed to empty my bladder so the baby could keep moving down so I climbed out and scurried to the bathroom. This must’ve worked. Once I got back into the water- labor became much more challenging.

Back in the water, my mind started to allow some negative thoughts to creep in. Eventually I voiced them to Amie. “I don’t know why but I just keep thinking about an epidural. It would let me sleep.” Amie was there with me, invested in every word I said, she knew I was in transition. A time where mothers often express doubts right before their baby comes.

Amie and Kenzie both reassured me of my strength and the trust that I had in my body and my wonderful Creator. Kenzie had read some of my birth affirmations to me that I had on the wall behind me. In her soft voice she read beautiful thoughts from God that gave me the energy I needed.

Suddenly I felt a powerful sensation that was out of my control. I directed my breathing down towards my baby and my water broke. The pop was unmistakable and I quietly said aloud what had happened. I waited for more of that insane pressure as the next contraction came- nothing. My body just returned to the previous pattern it had established.

Once again, I decided that I needed to go pee. I hyped myself up and finally got up and out of the tub. While I was in the bathroom my body began to push. Amie was instantly there and I leaned into her thanking her for being there to support me through this time in my life. Normally, I’m not super affectionate but I was chalk full of oxytocin and the love I felt overtook me! Amie must’ve known that birth was imminent as she gently encouraged me to head back to the tub.

I made it there but right before I lifted my leg over the side I was forced to the ground by another round of powerful pushing. “Wow”, I said. In my mind I was remember thinking, “so THAT is what pushing it supposed to feel like.” During Ezra’s labor, pushing was very difficult for me and I had always wondered why. Now I know that I had started way too early, I didn’t let my body do the work for me. During this labor I had decided in advance that I wasn’t going to push intentionally. I was going to let my body do it. I simply breathed my baby down, only focusing on supporting my uterus with the oxygen it needed to get the job done.

I was able to get into the water before the next wave hit. While I was resting in preparation for the next one Amie asked if she could check the baby’s heartbeat. This had been a routine about every 30 minutes or so since the team had arrived. This time we didn’t hear anything, I wasn’t worried as I was not at all in an ideal position for her to get a good listen and I knew that the baby was very low. The next contraction came and I instinctively sat back on my knees in a squatting position. This contraction was very powerful and all at once my baby’s head was born.

12:18 am

Nothing in the room changed, it was all just as calm as it had been the entire time and that allowed me to enjoy the moment. I was in tune with my body and breath as I reached down to feel my baby for the first time. I could feel his long hair moving in the water as he wiggled a bit. I could feel his perfectly soft cheeks. I quietly waited for the body to be born but for a moment I wondered if it had been too long. I looked up at Amie and asked her if she thought I needed to get out of the water. She calmly replied that she would like to get a closer look at the baby. Mandee (the birth assistant and 2nd midwife) quietly suggested that I move my leg into a side lunge. With Harrison’s help I did this while Amie shined a light into the water to examine our baby.

“I reached down to feel my baby for the first time. I could feel his long hair moving in the water as he wiggled a bit. I could feel his perfectly soft cheeks.”

— Grayce

Father assisting his wife lift her right leg into a side lunge as they await the birth of their baby's body into a birth pool

Just then I felt his entire body turn. His shoulders rotating as he found the perfect position. All he needed was a bit of space to move and me moving my leg did just the trick. This feeling was so crazy I had thought that it was Amie turning his body since she was behind me at the time. She never even touched me and I knew that she never would without consent but this feeling was so intense I couldn’t imagine it being my own little baby! Sure enough though, it was and within seconds of his turn, my uterus pushed the rest of his body out.

12:22 am.

A splash of water flew up as I caught him and pulled him to my chest. My hands were the first hands to ever touch my sweet baby. This just seemed so right, his mothers arms would be there instantly to welcome him into another world. Harrison and I gazed at our beautiful cheesy vernix covered baby. No rubbing, no drying, just soft warm arms and lots of love.

Our baby looked up at us and eventually gave a small cry which was all that was needed. He was mostly quiet and very alert as we used his eyes to take in his new view. The room was dim, quiet, and smelled like the forest as we diffused my favorite essential oil.

Eventually someone asked what the gender was… This hadn’t even crossed my mind as I was just in awe of my beautiful baby. I used my hand to spread his legs and Harrison announced to the room that we had another BOY! I was legit shocked because I was so sure it was a girl! I cried for a minute as I pictured our two boys growing up and being the best of friends.

The rest of this incredible night moved at my pace at I slowly left the birthing pool to deliver my placenta. We rested in our bed as a family of 4. Ezra, Harrison, and I admired our new member and enjoyed butterscotch cookies that my mom had prepared in advance. It was peaceful, beautiful, and everything that God made birth to be.